An Ode to Dads

One of my best friends told me this incredible story. It is horribly embarrassing so I have taken out any identifiers. It is all true and I post it every Fathers Day to honour the Dad’s out there.

This woman has 4 children. She is fairly traditional, not at all in her thinking but more in her living. Her husband works full- time and she parents the kids full-time. She likes clothes that are simple and classy. She does not want to necessarily stand out. She does not like conflict and she is an avid non- fiction reader. A quieter woman, an incredibly kind and loving woman, maybe even a little bit shy. Her highlights are perfect. Her linens are of the highest quality.  She loves to cook and can and uses as little sugar as possible. She blushes when there is too much sex on TV.

Never, ever would we swear around the kids.

Always, always they are the centre of her world.

Okay, so you get the picture.

One night recently, with 5 other bodies snuggled up against her in the big family bed- she could not sleep.

She tossed and turned. She was highly uncomfortable.

She felt ” a party in her asshole”.

That was the phrase she used.

She could not sleep due to the partying and so she woke her husband up. He, ever faithful and committed jumped out of bed and they whispered in the darkened hallway about what to do.

She asked him to go get a flashlight.

He knew at this moment that he was being included in something that may change their relationship… may even change how he saw her forever- but this was a risk he needed to take.

She couldn’t sleep due to the downstairs rager and he needed to help her out.

My friend, a woman who had birthed 4 babies naturally, in water, at home- had not yet done something so vulnerable in her marriage as she was about to do. She took a deep breath, bent over, grabbed her butt cheeks and spread ’em wide apart. They had to stay in the darkened hallway to catch the little buggers by surprise.

The husband quickly flashed the light over her anus and indeed saw a major celebration in his beloved wife’s ass.

She was full of worms. Overflowing actually.

He told her afterward that it did not change anything about how he saw her and she was still the most beautiful to him.

But we know, I mean I can only imagine that after seeing an event like that in your partners asshole it is etched in your mind forever.

It is something incredibly unpleasant and it must have been hard not to freak out about.

But he told her “no big deal, hon”. He told her it was no problem at all.

He cuddled her afterward in bed that early morning before she could go to the homeopath to get a remedy to dose the whole family. He lay wide awake amongst the 5 sleeping bodies full of raging parties and he pretended he was totally cool with it all.

And that is my definition of love, that is a fucking beautiful dad.

(Photo Credit