Be careful what you ask for…

Because you will get it.

I just sat down and asked God “Show me the way. Please baby Jesus Allah Goddess show me which direction to walk in. Put me on my path because right now I feel like all the doors are slamming in my face, my incessant knocking is annoying people and I’m too old to be working for free.”

You see, I have been going at it for so long now that I am getting tired. This following your heart shit is exhausting and at the end of the day when there is no one there to tell you “job well done” or “it’s the weekend shithead” or “here’s a raise” it can start to feel pretty bleak. Especially in your mid-30’s.

Speak it sister.

So, one Saturday afternoon holding onto the end of my very frayed rope I finally just sat down and I asked. “Dear Lord almighty in heaven puhhhhllleasee just tell me where to step next. I neeeeeed a sign.”

And this is what I saw.

A wide-open field.

With nothing in it.

Just space.

Some dry grass.

A bit of wind.

Under a huge expanse of blue.

I was not there. No one was there.

Nothing was there- just stillness and warmth.

And then I fell deep asleep.