THINX STINX

Here it is. My unsolicited expose. No more wondering, FOMO and liking their facebook ads without knowing really how they work. I got your back (vulva) on this one. I used THINX for 2 periods now and I’m here to tell all. Here we go!

So we’re seeing all the ads and it looks like THINX has disrupted the period product industry for good.

In the FB ads claim THINX are:

Leak proof (no bloody bums)

Absorbent (not wet on the crotch)

Easy to wash (hand wash and hang to dry)

And

Odor absorbent.

When I heard about THINX I freaked the eff out.

It was one of those too good to be true inventions and WHY hadn’t anyone thought of it before!!!!

Like the rest of you – I googled the shit out of the product and I loved their branding showing all different sizes and types of women’s bodies. Yahoo!

And then I heard about the CEO’s misconduct and subsequent lawsuit.

-For making her employees take a mandatory female ejaculation class.

-For face-timing her team while having sex with her partner in the Burning Man orgy tent for moral support while trying to conceive.

-For running group calls on zoom while taking a shit.

-For touching women’s bodies in the workplace, telling them to take their tops off and commenting on the shape and color of their areolas etc under the auspices of “affirming their bodies.”

-And finally, for firing people just before their benefits kicked in.

So now her “team” is suing her but damn she still made a good product and shit if a man did all this – we wouldn’t have even heard about it, and every time a woman gets successful other women bring her down and fuck. I just got 5 pairs for my birthday.

So.

I had them. I couldn’t return them. I might as well enjoy them. Guilt free.

I didn’t buy them and they are going to change my life!

I eagerly awaited my next period.

And here comes the review:

THINX STINX.

If you are using them as pantiliners on your lightest day, then they work great, but so does toilet paper.

It felt like cold blood pressed up against my vulva.

I got 5 pairs and on my heavy day I’d used them all by noon.

This means I’d need 15-20 pairs to get me through the day and at over $70 a pair that’s a touch cost prohibitive.

Now I have 5 pairs of wet underwear I have to wash by hand daily and hang around my house waiting for them to dry and go back to the cup or pads till they do.

Oh. Wait. Are you out of the house?

No biggie- just bring a bag with you, change your underwear in a public washroom and carry your bloody panties around in your purse all day, don’t worry, no one will notice because they are odor resistant. NOT.

It smelled like I’d just run 3 miles on a hot summers day in spandex WHILE on my period. It’s like camping crotch meets just had a baby. Somehow they manage to make my period smell way worse than a period smells.

And leak proof? Tell that to the group I just gave a speech to with a bloody wet spot on the FRONT of my pants. The blood poured over the absorbent part of the underwear into the non-absorbent part and through my pants. Like the blood creeped up and over the crotch line and seeped into the tummy area so it looked like I’d just split my C-section. It was a woman only space. Thank Fuck.

The main problem other than THE STINK and THE COST and THE LABOUR it takes to wash is that they don’t hold blood, like a regular adult woman’s amount. Who did this woman test on? 13-year-olds with their first period? 65-year-olds nearing the end of menopause?

I have a medium to heavy flow. The box the underwear came in said they hold 2 tampons worth of blood. That would get me through 1 day of my period bopping around town. So technically I should need 1 pair of underwear all day. Why did I just go through all 5 pairs by lunchtime?

So. No. Bad. Wrong. Terrible.

Absolute marketing genius. I’ll giver her that.

I know. So disappointed! But it’s such a good idea?! Right.

Gawwwd. I thought my life was going to have changed forever. Nope. I just have 5 pairs of reusable pantyliners for my last day that cost my friends over $300 CAN.

And there is nothing social or environmental about this product: the water usage, the leakage and the high prices- all prohibitive to women who could really use some period underwear.

What annoys me the most is I feel duped. I thought she was on my side. I thought she had given me a gift of freedom. I thought this was feminism in action. But in the end, it was just a good business plan marketed well.

I’ll say it again THINX stinks. Literally. Like I can smell them right now.

If you want to try some period panties because it’s a rad idea. Buy these ones:

Luna Pads  They’ve been making menstrual products for 2 decades. They have sizes for all people. I wear extra large in THINX – (their largest size) and I’m 5 foot 1 so not sure what anyone with a bigger bootie or taller frame would do? LunaPads donates and advocates and supports girls and women all over the world. They are based in Vancouver BC and really kind, good people.

She was close. All she has to do is make them 5 times more absorbent and not smell like the kill floor in a slaughterhouse and I’d be good to go. Like right now a pair of adult diapers is a better choice for me than these righteous, haughty underwear.

Hey, that’s it. The arrogance that this woman thinks her THINX will sell when they are a terrible product. It’s rude and I’m unimpressed with the entire clown show.

Ok. Off to change the maxi-pad I put on top of my THINX.

They’re very comfortable granny panties. I’ll give her that.

ps.

Check out my next project. The first of its kind- bookcast. Dropping Fall 2017. Make sure you’re subscribed to TTBG so you get the”buddy price.” I’m excited and proud. It feels good.

Comments 2

  1. Great article about THINX! I didn’t want the article to end 😀 Won’t be buying those knickers.

  2. Thanks for the article and info about Thinx, very funny writing too! I really hoped that Thinx would be good, what a pity. I was wondering if you had tested Modi Bodi’s period underwear at all? They are an Australian company. I’ll definitely check out Luna thanks for the tip.
    Cheers Claudie

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