I’ve done so much self-help I’d call myself an expert in the field.
I’ve spent over $70,000 on hypnotherapy, hydrotherapy, talk therapy, watsu, vaginal weightlifting and swimming with cosmic dolphins.
A Didgeridoo played over my naked body to cleanse my ancestral patterning? Yep.
Hiding in the bathroom to talk to an intuitive via Skype who accessed my angels so they could unlock my akashic records. Mhmmmmmm.
I’ve even beaten a drum to access the grid so we could talk to the souls of children with autism to give us messages from beyond. Srsly. That went a bit too far…
A lot of my friends make their living online, and I have no problem with ethically engaged coaching and programs from folks who are well trained in their healing modalities.
I’m not interested in slamming healers, good ones, bad ones, any ones…I’ve had my life transformed by a good energy healer, and I’ve wasted a lot of money on putting my trust in neo-spiritual light leaders with big egos.
When we are on the search- nothing can stop us- and there will be muck amongst the diamonds.
What I’m done with is the online empowerment-healing-wheeling-and dealing that is drowning us.
My newsfeed is clogged with folks promising how easy it is…and how all I need to do is…and it’s free…and…
1000 new followers in a week! Build my empire from the beach? 6 figures a month is easier than I think!?
Even after writing a memoir about my ridiculous self-help escapades that took me across the world to have a demon extracted from my colon in Vanuatu- I still get caught. I still fall for it.
I’m a smart feminist critically thinking human and I still get sucked in.
Because I see the potential for healing everywhere. And I trust you. And I’m hopeful. And the grip that the power of possibility holds is strong.
But the “online self-empowerment” industry has stepped over the line.
They are lying.
The webinar might be free but the 5 emails I get after is selling some big-ticket shit.
The goal is our money and the ways to get it are shrewd.
In the biz they are actually called “pain points.” “Find your “customer avatars” pain point and then promise that you can alleviate them.”
This is capitalizing off our hope and our terror.
And that’s not the way I want to make a million bucks.
I recently wrote and recorded my most important creative work to date.
A memoir about my self-help exploits that took me across the world and how when my mother’s death coincided with my son’s birth I had to drop all the courses, classes, trainings, teachings and hope. I stopped the search. I had to feel it all. And in turning towards my pain, I finally got what I’d been longing for my whole life.
So I decided I needed to learn how to sell the book. Of course right?!
And as luck would have it, at the exact perfect moment a “how to sell your soul” course came across my newsfeed.
This was the universe in alignment with my dreams.
As the course wore on I had to spend over $1000.00 on programs he’d never mentioned in the webinar and it took me 9 months to complete but if there’s one thing I am it’s tenacious and I believe in myself and my work. I couldn’t wait to get my memoir out there- to you- so I had to learn how to market it properly right?
All reasonable pursuits.
I finished the course, I tried to put the ad I’d built on Facebook, and after 2 weeks of fighting with the Facebook support team I discovered that his course was illegal. The entire basis of what he taught was a lie.
I called him out.
What he didn’t understand was- I’m me- and no one fucks with my dreams.
I’m not interested in defamation. I could care less about this guy.
What really bites my ass is how this mega-capitalism guised in generosity is rampant and we are still clicking yes.
Why are we still clicking yes?
Because we are holding on to the dream that it could be easier than this…
And that’s where the lie lies.
It’s not easier than this. Doing what you love is hard. It hurts. It’s vulnerable. And it takes years to develop long-lasting authentic relationships with people/friends who actually want to support you.
We all love JP Sears right?!
The hilarious YouTube satirist who got famous making fun of vegans and yogi’s. He was one of us.
Well now even JP has gotten on the train. He is taking affiliate money from clickfunnels.com and in most of his videos he’s selling products now.
Wha? He’s not a satirical genius? No.
He’s a genius businessman whose main goal was to reach a height of popularity so he could monetize.
Satire is a political art form. It’s anti-capitalist, anti- power, anti- establishment. Satirists are subversive and dangerous in their commentary and if they end up being millionaires they are not satirists anymore. That’s antithetical to a satirists belief system.
Is it possible that sweetheart JP never had the sweet heart that got us laughing at ourselves. That he was just making fun?
I clued in that he was going downhill when he stole “prancersize” from the actual prancersize creator and claimed it as his own. But when I saw he was a speaker at a “Capitalism Conference” the satirist became the satire.
And it makes me ask?
Is there any way we can hold onto our integrity and make a living?
Can we be successful and not be gross about it?
This is my goal.
To be subversive and challenging and funny and make a living doing what I love and not be afraid to speak out against the big guys- even if they sick their lawyers on me.
To ask questions and be brave and expect transparency and not be silenced.
So what can we do?
-No more watching pre-recorded online webinars, seminars, tele-summits or masterminds. No more. Even if this one really suits you and speaks perfectly to what you need. Don’t do it. There is a catch. There’s a string. Nothing is free. Ever. Sit on your hands.
-Only pay for courses and training where you get to see and interact with the real person in real time. You don’t want to work with anyone who doesn’t have the time to give you their time.
-They are in power because we are giving them our power. So withhold. The more, more, more feeling is an addiction. I promise you, coming from an “expert in the field” nothing I’ve ever bought off the Internet has given me anything I didn’t already know and has always disappointed me.
-Work with people one-on-one. Develop meaningful relationships. I love my web developer (Quill Creative) and I love my sound tech/producer (Aaron the tech). We are friends. They care about me. I trust them. And I want to give them my money.
–Trust your instincts. If you feel the iiirrrrrrkkk feeling. Listen to it. Stop. Get out.
-Look for patterns in their marketing: because underneath it’s all the same game.
- I used to be just like you.
- I found the crack in the system.
- It’s easy.
- Now I want to show you how.
–Make content from your heart and then give it up. Let it go. Rest.
You can want to make good money. That’s great! You deserve reciprocation. Make an ad for it on Facebook, ask your friends to pass it around, believe the fuck out of yourself, hire a publicist, give it everything you’ve got – but spend more time making what you long to make instead of listening to other people give you advice on how to sell it.
Because when it comes down to it, excellent, edgy, heartful truth rings bright above the rest.
Clear, clean offerings rise.
And we’re going to be giving our hearts for a lifetime. The rest is planned obsolescence.
We cannot be controlled.
We will not be duped.
And we took a breath before we clicked we’d remember that this is a system that relies on our attention to get rich and we can take that away as quickly as we give it.
It’s ridiculous really. And hilarious. And I’m done.
And we will make what we need to make to feel fulfilled and grand.
And we will put it out there on our terms using our community to support us.
“And we will succeed, yes we will indeed – 99 ¾% guaranteed.” (Dr. Seuss)
Now, to sell my soul with soul.
Today is the last day I’m taking pre-orders for my audio memoir Trying To Be Good…the healing powers of lying, cheating, stealing and drugs for 50% off (because accessibility.)
It’s my greatest creation to date and I’m proud to share it with you.
Learning how to sell something in a way that felt easy and honest was hard.
I had to extricate myself from all the BS filling my feed and go back to the simplicity of human connection.
Integrity intact. No big schemes. A simple ask and an open heart.