Advice: Do I like being depressed?

8 min. I can’t help but get all emotional.
Also don’t “massage your feet.” That’s the lamest advice I’ve ever given. 

Notes on the video above:

1. Stop. Be kind to the depression. He’s talking to you. I lie down every day with my hand on my heart. or stone on my chest and breathe and let it in. Like a little kitten, stroking it. This is a disease. You are in dis-ease. From the world. You are not living a natural state, you are bombarded. So, gentle, gentle, soft, soft.

2. Protect. Try and connect but if you need to be at home, under blankets for 3 hours rather than that potluck. Give yourself permission. You are teaching yourself to trust that you have your back and you are hearing what sick little kitten is saying…(I can’t delete that terrible analogy as I’m a one-take kinda woman)

3. Boundaries. No. Sorry. Can’t. Too much. Oprah calls it “Radical Self Care.” I don’t work weekends. I’m done by 430 every day. I know this. No pushing through. That burns out your adrenals even more.

4. Offering. This is hardest for me. An offering to yourself or the world. Start with “I will put stretchy pants on and lie on the floor with some nice music playing for 15 min.” That’s it. Maybe one day you’ll find yourself doing yoga. Who knows? Go outside and walk 2 blocks. I did this the other day and helped an old lady walk in the snow and felt really good about myself…This is a slow fortitude building exercise. Allow yourself to be soft, but not crumple. One tiny thing a day to build strength. I know the idea makes you puke in your mouth a bit…but it is a tiny effort in discipline.

5. It’s comfy being depressed. I’m the same. It’s our brain grooves getting deeper. I don’t think we “like it” though, we just feel safer here. What would happen if our chest cracked open in wonderment and joy for the world.

We’d die.

Too much.

I’m a bottom dweller. I like the deep, dark places in life. But I have experienced extreme pleasure and gratitude. It’s scary. It’s vulnerable. It hurts. Maybe even more painful than feeling depressed. So, don’t let the depression trick you. It’s welcomed and gets the love and attention it deserves. See it. Notice it. But then, allow for the possibility that your sternum could open just a bit, a crack, a bending, the very beginning of…a bit of fortitude, resilience.

6. Because when it comes down to it, we need to feel the world’s pain (Aleppo, Standing Rock. trump).  How does that help? Just try to open a titch and feel your feelings (the enormity of them) every single day. That’s the beginning to holding more. That’s Superhero shit.

This video to you today is my act. What’s yours?…I’ll tell you actually, start with a shower.

Here’s another post about depression, in this one I call “depression” Burn Out. Same shit, another lens.


And instead of some shitty towels from HomeSense, here are a few places to donate in the name of a friend this season…I post my friends name and what organisation I donated to on facebook, so I get the ego boost of “feeling useful” and also people get to see where they can donate to their friends too. Double Prize!

Doctors Without Borders 


International Rescue Committee