The Rules to Staying Sane and Keeping Your Soul Intact Online

This might hurt a bit. I’m playing tough love coach here. You don’t have to…but I’m asking you to consider – considering these options to get you back on track of why you put your heart and soul online in the first place.

Here we go!

Take off all unsubscribe notifications and likes. Every time I get an unsubscribe, I click on the link and see who the motherfucker is who hates me. It’s not good for the brain. It doesn’t matter. You are refining your audience. You are getting clearer and cleaner with your message. A small band of merry warriors is much more powerful than a large disparate group of ho-hummers who could give a shit that you give them your soul on a weekly basis. So. Cut. It. Out. Same with likes. You have a plug-in. De-activate it. Stop checking 4-20 x a day how many more people “like” you. I poured my children’s tears into a glass for you to drink and that post got 25 unsubscribes. The post I knocked off in 10 minutes went viral. There’s no rhythm. There’s no system. There’s no accounting for who’s reading when and what your algorithms are that day. Go. Right. Now. De-activate. It’s incredibly freeing to start writing for yourself again.

Don’t boost posts anymore and get off Google analytics. It doesn’t matter. I know we have to play the game and buy shit-ass Facebook Ads to get “traction” in our “industry” but boosting posts is a waste of money. Stop. That. Shit. Because guess what, now you’re an addict. They got you hooked. Your self-worth is dependent on mother fucking Google analytics?! Cut that shit out. Stop looking at it. Who cares? What does it change? You have to fight this like it’s the dark demon himself. Don’t be tempted. Because all these “systems of metrics” are taking you away from the whole point!

Who are you doing this for?

We need to rebel against the power of the “popularity content” contest.

This is paramount.

You are an outlier.

You are not playing the boring same old game.

You are in a different stratosphere.

No comparisons necessary.


-When people tell you “you should be killed you fat troll monkey” block them.

-When people call you an “angry feminist” don’t respond and delete their comment.

-When someone is badgering you into a thread war…send a kiss/wink/dolphin/circus tent emoji and let then try to figure that shit out.

They are trying to suck your blood. Don’t let them have this power.

Listen. Wait. Speak your heart. Stay strong. Then you will know you’re integrity is in your backpack and you are all good. You can sleep easy. Even if you feel like shit…

Call a friend if you are freaking out. Ask why? What is my offering to the world?  And they will remind you.

Take one day a week offline and go outside and look at the sky.

Hide under the covers when you feel the self hatred-shame monster coming over for a visit. Close your eyes and put your hands on your heart or your belly and breathe and remember you are a human being. You are giving your gift to the world. You are trying your best. You are fucking up publically. You are learning. You are a brave warrior and it is just too much right now so you need to go into your tent and rest.

Rest. Slow it down. When you feel the claws coming out, grasping for one more post, one more instagram, one more…these are warning bells. Stop. Danger is ahead. You are off center and you’re going to regret it. Wait. Listen…and when you feel the nudge….

Do your work. Between 5 min-8 hours a day. Do what makes you happiest, that feels like it’s the reason you were put on this planet, that fills you up- do that thing every single day. Write it at a stoplight. Get up in the middle of the night. On the toilet if you have to.

*And remember– a lot of what you see and hear are lies. People talk big. I know one woman who would rather be in love than have her fame. I know another who just lost $75,000 on an event and posted what a “huge success” it was the next day. It’s all optics. It’s marketing the health and wellness of your soul. It’s taking advantage of our longing for God(dess) and hurting people who are simply on a search… to be good.

You want to be as far away from that as possible.

And here’s where it really hurts. Even in your full integrity, you may not get fabulously famous. You may not make a shit ton of money – ever. Even if you play by every rule and give your entire being- it just might not happen. We are not in control. We are electromagnetic waves turned into particles turned into mass, turned into souls, turned into humans, turned into online personalities.

Write so you don’t slit your wrists.

Sell a workshop so you don’t punch a cat.

Do your great thing. For us. We need you.

In 7 years I’ve invested over $15,000 in putting my heart and guts on the line.

I have a pretty medium but deeply loyal fan base.

And I do it so I can sleep at night and stay off pills. I do it because it’s my service to the world and I have no other choice.

And of course ironically the only way the miracle of being noticed in a huge way (which by the way is not a bad goal) is when you drop all the rules and systems and bullshit and post a funny video of a cat on your back. It happens when you are truly expressing you. Unfiltered. And there is a resonance.

Just because it’s the Internet doesn’t mean genius and magic aren’t at play.

You will never feel done. This is probably the most important rule. You are called and you want to answer. I get it. But if you push too hard, your longing will start running away from you. So stop. Rest. Have faith. Play with your children. Spend time with your friends. Stop. Rest. Have faith. Play with your children. Spend time with your friends. Stop. Rest. Have faith. Play with your Dog. Repeat. It’s your only hope.

It’s your only hope.

Thank every single person that comments and engage with people who challenge your opinions respectfully. If you put yourself in the public eye then it’s your responsibility to finish the conversation.

And if there is one final offering I call confidently give you, it’s to sit in the seat of your soul. That’s when all the noise filters away and you clearly see- with no hesitation- that it’s not even about you.

You are the conduit for a larger message. You are the channel of a much higher purpose. 

And you have no choice in the matter but to continue…at the pace your great gift see’s fit.