Maybe you don’t know it yet, or you don’t think you don’t know it yet? I look back on 20 years of creating art and now I see this web, this perfectly constructed road that lead me exactly to right now- writing to you.
And I’m not done. I have a vision I hold that is all at once terrifying and perfect. But we’ll get to that…
#1. For a long time I was like “I’m talented, I have a gift to give I’m good at it and I just want more people to like my shit!” That’s not good enough. That kinda stinks. It was very annoying for me to realize that the only goal can’t be wanting huge reach or success.
Your goal has to be simply to give your gift to the world and hope and pray that the people out there who need it find you.
You are a piece of stardust…and you might not get wealthy shining your light but that doesn’t mean it’s not your job.
This is your work.
Only you can do it. If you don’t do it no on else will and this was why you were born.
No one can sell you your path. If the trail is already blazed it’s not your trail. Your trail isn’t built yet. You have to machete/ hike/ axe yourself your way through yourself. And once your path is hacked no one can ever take that from you.
And then you get to give us what you were meant to. Which no one ever said was going to be easy…but when we see you acting in complete transparency and integrity with your gift then we want to give you some of our heart and the reciprocation begins. Easefully.
#2 Time is not yours. You cannot control this. All you can do is your work every day and try to relax into the effort. Make a timeline but have no expectations. Map out your goals but know they might not happen how you imagine. Write down the amount of money you want to make but don’t assume you will make it the way you think. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Breathe.
What a relief to remember that this is not all yours to carry.
#3. See your vision. I lie down and I imagine what I am doing. Who is watching me? Where I am. How many people are there? What I look like? What size is the room? How are people reacting? (They are all laughing hysterically of course.) What does it feel like in my body to be doing the thing I most want to do with my life? Feel that feeling. Revel in it. I see this vision with such clarity it brings a big smile to my face and it opens my heart. That’s the best.
#4. You are here to serve.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What keeps me up at night- shame, self-hate, fear, hope? This is what you need to be sharing with the world.
- What do I long for in my own life to be content and fulfilled? This is the content you need to be giving to your audience.
- Who do I like talking with most? These are the people you should be reaching out to; creating workshops, art and engaging in conversations with- like you would with your best friend having tea.
When I ask you- what are you here to do? What jumps into your mind?
It took me 20 years to find the answer, and like I said, it felt like a meandering, useless, disconnected path- until I looked back at it. So now when I look forward, I have a bit more faith.
My job is to share the dark, vulnerable parts of myself, so you get to say “hey, me too!” and we all feel closer. I think this transparency changes the world. I want women to know that they can and must do what they love for a living- for everyone’s sake. And I want to make you laugh/cry.
And usually, I don’t have a fucking clue how that will transpire in the world. I just have to keep serving that vision.
#5. Make space for the mystery. The first step is to create the room in your life to crystallize that question- what am I here to do?
So your work is once a day, every day, sit down for 10 minutes. Set a timer. Close your eyes and say to whomever “ok, I’m open, whatever I need to hear or know or feel right now, come on in.”
The first few weeks of me doing this I spent most of the 10 minutes crying. There was so much grief and shame and pain that had to be let out before I could make some room for some gifts to come in. So that may happen to you too…
Just let whatever comes to you…in. And then the timer goes. Bow and say, “thank you, I appreciate your visit, you can go now.” Take a few moments to rest before you get on with your day.
#6. Be careful of the push. I’m a pusher. I’m a doer. I’ll scratch my own eyeballs out and give them to you if you want me to. This is obviously unattractive, dare I say repellent to your audience. There is a fine balance between doing the work and trusting that the work will get done. And it will never really “get done” so when you find yourself in the clutching, clawing pose consider it a warning sign. Stop. Halt. Get away from the computer. Nothing you will do in this phase will be good work or useful to others…save yourself the regret of the “one too many email invites to your launch” and go take a nap until you feel the gentle nudge, the loving pressure of inspiration…then get back to it. And the best part is, you don’t have to worry too much because…
#7. You cannot escape. You don’t just sit down and start making your great art. It’s part of your whole life. It’s part of how you treat your partner and if you get enough exercise and how much dope you smoke and if you let your rage about that rude guy in the coffee shop slip off your back…
Because being creative is you everywhere all the time.
And when that is recognized and respected – then the magical ease fairy comes home.
Your soul knows it can trust that you are in it for the right reasons and the universe gets excited and you’ll start to notice some flow.
Every time I sit down to write now I ask myself. “Self, are you here? Is this a good time? Will you join me?” It’s an invitation. My gift is an honored guest.
This is a quote from Neil Young’s autobiography Raging Heavy Peace that I love.
And then when you finally do get to do what you’ve longed your whole life to do– the most hilarious thing happens – you’re gonna get terrified. You’re gonna freak out. You’re gonna want to cancel everything and run for the hills and scream noooooooo…you’ve got the wrong person. I’m not ready!
And then the work really begins…
I’m laughing right now because I know you will get what you want.
I believe in you and I believe that you were put here for an important reason and that purpose has to take form.
Like my best friend told me on one of my darkest days “it wouldn’t happen if you didn’t long for it this much.”
It’s not in your hands really. It just will exactly, perfectly happen one day.
I can’t wait.
Email me ok. I’m so excited for you.