I want to be famous.
There I said it.
Not famous like Reese Witherspoon. More like Cheryl Strayed famous.
I’ll still parent my kids.
I’ll buy my own groceries.
But people will give me lots of credit. I won’t ever have to prove myself in any way. My coolness will be assumed and I’ll get noticed a fair bit.
I want to do what I do the best I can do it and I want a whole shit ton of people to like it.
I also want to be styled.
And I’d like to be cooked for and be made to exercise every day by a friend I pay to boss me around.
I wouldn’t mind someone folding my clothes too and I’d love to be able to tell someone whatever’s on my mind and they would write it down for me and remind me of it later.
Mainly I want to be recognized for what I do. And highly valued for it.
This past weekend we were late for the ferry to Bowen island to have Easter with my friends and their kids. As we drove up to the terminal the ticket woman said “oops, you jusr missed the ferry. The next one’s at 230.” Which was 2 and a half hours from then and I wanted to spend the precious time I had with my friend and her family. “Please” I begged. “Please let us on. I’ve got two crying kids and Easter will be ruined” “I’m sorry ma’am. The boat is full.”
Please” I said again “just let us sneak up to the front lane. It’s my sons first Easter, anything you can do, I’ll be so thankful.” “I’m sorry ma’am” she repeated “there’s nothing I can do.” My tone shifted. “Well, I want to talk with the manager, who makes the decisions about when a boat is “full” anyway?”
The woman is silent. “I need to get on that ferry!!!!” “Ma’am” she said “everyone in front of you wants to be on that ferry too.”
Which I had not actually considered.
And then I did the thing that I sometimes do in these kind of situations. I pretended to be famous. “Hmmm, she may recognize me?” I thought.
I became dignified and polite. I ruled with grace.
“Oh. Good point. Right. Thank you. Happy Easter.”
She smiled and left and I rolled up the windows and immediately burst into tears again.
We got out of the car, walked to the playground, ate fish and chips and had a lovely afternoon as a family in Horseshoe Bay.
I want to be famous. I’m a better person when I think everyone is watching me. I also want to be able to charter private boats to get to nearby islands and share meals with dear friends anytime of the day or night.