Eff You Louis For Taking Away My Laughs.

I knew it was true when close to 4 years ago the freelance reporter tried to break the story and posted the contact via email admonishing him for being a perv and he wrote back…asking to meet in private then he ghosted the meeting.

I knew it was true when the female comic talked about his attack on her popular podcast and the next day it disappeared from the internet.

I knew it was true when every male comedian I asked “do you think it’s true?” bowed their head and said nothing.

I knew it was true when I tried to get someone to talk about it openly on my radio show and no one answered my calls for an interview.

The circle of protection is strong around these ones.

And I debated if I should stop watching his brilliant TV show and stand up – because you can’t support the funny side of a person if the other side is a sexual predator- right? But when his second season of Louis came out I couldn’t help myself. He was a comic genius. I was in awe of his talent…so just one more…just one more laugh.

I’d just had baby #2 by cesarean. I had 2 kids under 2. I was depressed and anxious and not sleeping and feeling honestly, like dying a bit and my husband and I curled up after we finally got the boys down and in this moment of perfection (nothing else to do, with stitches that wouldn’t let me stand up straight or climb stairs) we started the show.

And I laughed. I laughed like I’d never laughed before. I was crying I was laughing so hard my husband stared at me in shock because he hadn’t seen me happy in- months…a year maybe. I just couldn’t stop laughing. I was literally and figuratively busting a gut (because of the stitches) and kinda scream laughing.

It was that scene where it’s Christmas eve and he fucks up the gift he was going to give his daughters- a doll- and he then he tries to fix it and he fucks it up more and more and more till the doll is this hideous monster and it was so beautifully shot and the clowning of more, more, more was perfect and it hit that universal nerve of needing to get out of a mess you’ve started but just making more of a mess by trying to get out of the mess until you are just swimming in this huge sweat bath of mess (hmmm foreshadowing perchance?) And I laughed so hard at the truth of it all.

I woke the babies up I laughed so hard and they started crying and I sent my husband in to take care of them because I was laughing too hard to be useful and I was so happy to be happy again for that moment that I wanted to savour it.

He opened my tired crusty soul with that scene. He brought some light back into my busted up heart. I was thankful.

There is no doubt Louis CK is a comic genius. But he’s also a sexual predator.

Here’s the public letter that he wrote, that was re-written to actually sound apologetic.

And his half-assed wimpy letter of admission is the nail in the coffin that even though I knew and I knew I knew…now I really know because he told us. And I can’t support someone who abuses women. I can’t laugh at his brilliantly crafted observational comedy about aging men and white culture and how stupid and boring we all are- I can’t laugh anymore- because he is an abuser.

So fuck you Louis, for taking away my laughs. Fuck you!

How is it that you can be so smart and yet so dumb?

How is that you can have two daughters and still masturbate in front of young women trying to follow their dreams?

How is that?

You took away my laughs. And that night. And that scene. And your brilliance. And my awe. It’s all gone now.

I can’t watch your comedy anymore and be inspired by your creativity or be touched watching a human reach their fullest career potential.

Even though I’ve never laughed harder. Even though the way you look at the human condition and shape it into story is genius and even though it’s possible you changed the world with some of your sets – now it’s all a big fuck you.

Fuck you for taking all those precious gifts away from the world because you’re a dumb ass who can’t go see a therapist and work your dark shit out. Fuck you for hurting women. Fuck you for letting your ego ruin it for us all. Fuck you for taking away our laughter.

Fuck you that I have to make the choice to not watch you anymore because you are a sexual predator.

Cause that shit just ain’t funny.