For the Depressed Motherfuc*ers at Christmas.

It’s Dec 20th and I just went for a walk with my family. It was sunny out and we walked for about an hour and a half straight. On the stroll I didn’t see one happy person. Every Single Fucking Person had that sad, dead Christmas look in their eyes. And it made me feel a whole lot better. First …

Yoga Mom (the video)

Hey Ma! Videos of young, lithe, childfree women doing yoga in their panties got ya down? Make you feel like eating a bag of sour-cream-and-bacon chips at 9am? Or maybe quitting for good? Here’s the prescription. This shit is for real. xo, Em  

What Happens When You Die?

Where Do You Go When You Die? And I don’t mean into the ground. I know this is an unanswerable question and I know there is probably no fulfilling answer. I also know that wars are waged over this conversation but I’d still like to hear your beliefs. Because I believe it’s not really about the truth, it’s more about …

I’m not wishing you a Happy New Year!

…instead, I’ll wish you softness when you’re unhappy, and the breath to navagate through it.  I’ll also wish for you to know that you are surrounded by people who probably have many of the same fears and sadness as you do. Even if social media seems to be sure they are doing much better. Because they traveled more this year. …

Should I push or should I flow? The eternal question.

I’m a pusher. I’m pushy. This is my nature. It’s who I’ve been my entire life. It’s exhausting to be a pusher but it’s also exhilarating. There’s not much more satisfying then ticking off my to do list. There is such a sweet pleasure in letting my head hit the pillow and knowing that I worked today. I made something. …

The Abundance Train Just Crashed

We all remember The Secret. I got deep into that shit. The idea of manifesting your dreams and creating your own reality is fucking awesome; and in my experience, it sometimes it works; I did rituals by the ocean when I was longing for a mate. I wrote the traits I wanted him to have on a piece of paper and …

I Got Nothing. Does that Mean I Got Everything?

Every few days I sit down and write a bit until the pen trails off and…I’ve come up with a shit ton of great starts but for some reason coming to a conclusion with any of these essays seems ridiculous. “How dare I assume I know what is right?” “Who am I to have such a strong opinion?” And another …

All You Need Is One (Soo-Soo)

My son loves his soother. We call it his soo-soo. He doesn’t call it his soo-soo because he can’t speak, but his parents are losers and like baby talking to him “Artie want’s his widdle soo-soo!?” and he blood-curdling screams for it. “Where’s the motherfucking soo-soo?” can be heard as we run around the house, searching under beds and ripping …

Sometimes You Just Have To Get Better.

Sometimes you just have to get better. You have to grow. There is no time for therapy, or friends, or hot tubs or yoga or journaling about it. There is no space to meditate or breathe into the softness. This does not mean you are pushing or bad or hard as a rock. Or maybe you are. But that doesn’t …

Advice: I’m terrified to write, how do I begin?

Question: I’m scared to write. No, I am debilitated when it comes to writing. People tell me I can write, that I’m a writer, bla fucking bla, but I can’t fucking write. I have my first paid freelancing gig and i’m distracting myself by binge dating.   Something has to happen because right now I’m sitting in a corner office with …