Super Nerd

I grew up in a trailer in the woods. It was not a luxurious double-wide but we did have an addition built on to it so there was an extra room. We grew meat birds and to keep the baby chicks warm in the spring we would keep them in the house under a heat lamp. I preferred them living in my bedroom so I would fall asleep every night to chirping of birds and the smell of tiny poos.

Hope is dead to me (she says with a dramatic flair)

“Hope is dead to me” I said.

And I didn’t mean the quiet pretty girl with perfect braids and the aubergene Club Monaco sweater who sat in front of me in grade 5.

I meant the belief that my dreams will come true. That kind of hope. Is dead.

I met Joan Rivers (on the night I was supposed to be proposed to)

I clean the house from top to bottom this afternoon. “If I am coming home a fiancée tonight I want my carpet to be vacuumed” I think to myself. I shave my legs and armpits. I phone my best friend and leave a message on her voicemail “tonight’s the big night, it’s gonna’ happen!”

If the cancer doesn’t kill her I will…(the live version)

Happy Mothers Day to all the mother lovers out there. Here is a story I told about my tortured love relationship with my mama at The Flame, a storytelling series in Vancouver, BC. Mothers rule the Universe whether we want them to or not! Listen here. mothers-day-love-story Love, Emelia

If the cancer doesn't kill her I will…(the live version)

Happy Mothers Day to all the mother lovers out there. Here is a story I told about my tortured love relationship with my mama at The Flame, a storytelling series in Vancouver, BC. Mothers rule the Universe whether we want them to or not! Listen here. mothers-day-love-story Love, Emelia

Super Nerd

I grew up in a trailer in the woods. It was not a luxurious double-wide but we did have an addition built on to it so there was an extra room. We grew meat birds and to keep the baby chicks warm in the spring we would keep them in the house under a heat lamp. I preferred them living in my bedroom so I would fall asleep every night to chirping of birds and the smell of tiny poos.

It is so funny how everything is constantly changing

It’s funny how things are constantly changing in my mind about what I want and need. Funny in a knife in my intestines kind of way. I have longed for things with all my heart and soul, in such an intense and deep way that I would physically prostrate myself, all hands on deck, belly on the earth, praying for …

Racism on the Looser Cruiser

I have to pee but there is no fucking way I am going to use the toilet in the back of the bus. I would rank it equivalent to sucking a stranger’s dick to raise enough money to buy myself groceries. A last resort. Is where all the rest of the world lives? Have I entered a weird dimension?  If …

Re-remembering a revelation

This is one of those revelations you had when you were 16 and it changed your outlook on life completely but then you forgot it and then re-remembered it in your mid-30’s, so here’s hoping it sticks this time. Drum roll please. The universe is not out to get me. It actually wants me to be happy and for life …

Yogi’s are the most disconnected and self-serving people I know.

…and I can say this because I am one. Not just a yogi, but also a yoga teacher with two certificates under my belt. You can call me the average Jane of Yoga, you can call me very generally entrenched in the community. I teach workshops, I fly to far away places to study with the teachers that inspire me. …