If She Says She Doesn’t Like Mother’s Day She’s Lying.

I’ve been reading a lot of articles this week by moms who say that Mother’s Day is a Hallmark holiday and they don’t support it. They say that they don’t need flowers to be reminded that they are loved and being a mom is no different than being anyone else so there is no need to be celebrated. I’m calling …

If She Says She Doesn’t Like Mother's Day She’s Lying.

I’ve been reading a lot of articles this week by moms who say that Mother’s Day is a Hallmark holiday and they don’t support it. They say that they don’t need flowers to be reminded that they are loved and being a mom is no different than being anyone else so there is no need to be celebrated. I’m calling …

The Same Essay Written Twice (Do I Have to Lose Myself to Become a Mother?)

I wrote this essay for Huffington Post exactly one year ago, with three months before my kid popped out. Now, three months before his First birthday I’m revisiting the essay and thought I’d share the changes because it’s hilarious. The first essay is what I thought about mothering before I was a mom (and if you go to the actual …

Birth and Death

My mother is lying in bed dying while my newborn son and I are next to her breastfeeding. Sounds pretty made for TV movie epic doesn’t it? What is remarkable to me is how identical the two processes are. Birth and death. And not in the ways you think, not like transformation and beginning and endings and circle of life …

The Shameful New Mom Cliche

I walk into the postnatal class, I thought I was late but time no longer means anything to these bitches. Unless we are talking about “tummy time” Then it matters a whole fucking lot…

An open letter to all parents from a non-parent.

I just finished babysitting your baby today. I have salmon stuck on my neck and in the crease under my left breast.
My eardrum is damaged due to high frequency screaming.
I had to hold her while I was peeing…

Dear baby in my belly (part 1)

I suppose I should preface this essay by saying…I am happy to be pregnant and I am enjoying the ride. It was not alway so and this is an example of the feelings of transition I went through on my way to motherhood. I write from the experience of what was hard once it becomes light. I do this so folks who also find it hard can know that they are not alone. Right now the truth is that although I recently peed the bed, lost my ankles completely and developed teenage acne, ironically in this last month of gestation I have blossomed. There is something about giving up completely that is incredibly freeing…oh I also pulled my vagina muscle too…read on!

I realized I was pregnant when…

I found out I was pregnant just over a month ago. I did not believe it.

I peed on a stick. Pregnant.

I went to a midwife. Pregnant.

My boobs turned into sandbags. Pregnant.

The smell of barbeque gave me an olfactory orgasm. Pregnant.

My period was 3 months late. Pregnant.

I still did not believe it.