All You Need Is One (Soo-Soo)

My son loves his soother. We call it his soo-soo. He doesn’t call it his soo-soo because he can’t speak, but his parents are losers and like baby talking to him “Artie want’s his widdle soo-soo!?” and he blood-curdling screams for it. “Where’s the motherfucking soo-soo?” can be heard as we run around the house, searching under beds and ripping …