Super Nerd

I grew up in a trailer in the woods. It was not a luxurious double-wide but we did have an addition built on to it so there was an extra room. We grew meat birds and to keep the baby chicks warm in the spring we would keep them in the house under a heat lamp. I preferred them living in my bedroom so I would fall asleep every night to chirping of birds and the smell of tiny poos.

An Ode to Dads

One of my best friends told me this incredible story. It is horribly embarrassing so I have taken out any identifiers. It is all true.

Advice-How do I love my mother better?

This weeks column is about one of my favourite topics- Mothers-what the fuck to do about our relationship with our mothers. CLICK BELOW FOR MY MOTHER ADVICE. Be warned. There are no easy answers and feeling this shit hurts. I love you. Thank’s for listening. motheradvice

Snippets from a family vacation

We have only been driving away for 6 minutes and we have to pull over and turn into a fruit and garden centre.  Someone’s diarrhea is acting up…

Christmas Cannibalism

This is a Christmas story I told for The Flame about the time I thought I was going to get eaten by cannibals on Christmas eve.
Love to you all!

Snippets from a family vacation

We have only been driving away for 8 minutes and we have to pull over and turn around and go back home. Mom’s diarrhea is acting up.
We get to the fishing cabin on the lake and they are not expecting us. The owner’s wife starts yelling at her husband for being forgetful. She mentions that our cabin had a load of fishermen in it last night and for some reason the place had a thick layer of grease all over everything. It will take a while to clean up. While we wait my brother pees behind a tree.

Is there such a thing as Unconditional Love?

My father and I are estranged at the moment which is a bit of an oxymoron I know, the “at the moment” part. It’s a long story but the basis of it is I’m right and he is wrong and I will not forgive him till he apologizes…

I just hung up on my mother

I hung up on my mother this evening. While she was talking to me, I set the phone down and disconnected.

I told her some exciting news about my life and once again she was not excited for me. “How much does the rent cost? Is that a smart idea?

If the cancer doesn’t kill her I will…(the live version)

Happy Mothers Day to all the mother lovers out there. Here is a story I told about my tortured love relationship with my mama at The Flame, a storytelling series in Vancouver, BC. Mothers rule the Universe whether we want them to or not! Listen here. mothers-day-love-story Love, Emelia

If the cancer doesn't kill her I will…(the live version)

Happy Mothers Day to all the mother lovers out there. Here is a story I told about my tortured love relationship with my mama at The Flame, a storytelling series in Vancouver, BC. Mothers rule the Universe whether we want them to or not! Listen here. mothers-day-love-story Love, Emelia