Aging Gracefully

I have this thing on my eye, both of them actually. Its this flap of skin that folds down over the lid, so for example when I am putting eyeshadow (for a play, never in real life) on the crease of my lid where the flap folds over the eyeball part there is always this line of makeup that gets caked up inside. I also notice that the flap loosens near the end of my eye and there is a small pocket of flesh that is  now always drooping down. The flap is big enough that I could push a kernel of corn into it and the skin pocket would hold the kernel in place.

I am complaining about this to a friend and she tells me it is a sign of aging. She tells me that my face is falling. I see for the first time how a woman would want pay exorbitant amounts of money to have a doctor slice off some of the excess. This is not a wisdom line, it is not a laugh line, it is a flap of skin over my eyeballs that can hold snacks for later.

I have decided.

No more judgements on women who tighten and tuck. No more silent shaming about their inability to accept themselves.

I had no fucking clue it would be this hard to get old and i haven’t even had a kid yet. I’m still waiting for that beautiful train wreck.

When the time comes I too will go to Thailand for some medical tourism.

I will ask for help when I need it.

I will age gracefully.

Just watch me.