To All The Men,
The first thing we want to say to all the men out there is that we love you. We’re not blaming you or attacking you. We have the best men surrounding us, brothers, best friends, men who have fathered our children and taught us more than anyone else has. We feel safe and respected and taken care of by you. And because of this we’re going to ask you to listen to us. You’ve heard it all before, we know, but this is a plea.
Recently a woman in our city was raped and tortured in her own home by a stranger. And our first thought is how can this happen? Seriously!
How. Can. This. Happen?
Because we’re surrounded by such good men we don’t understand why women are getting raped and attacked and abused?
We don’t get it? Who are these motherfuckers? Where are they hiding? We’re not safe.
And we get angry with you when this shit happens because we want you to be angry too, so angry that you are willing to go to war for us. And we know you want to help but you don’t know what to do and we’re thankful for that but we need more because we can’t seem to stop the violence our own.
We’ve been through so many waves of fighting for feminism (feminism meaning women and men deserve equal rights). We’ve been angry feminists, righteous feminists, neo-feminists, stay-at-home feminists, incredulous feminists, anti- feminists and now we are moving into the heartsick feminist phase.
We’re asking you to take this on as your fight too because we’re not scared of men but we are scared of male violence.
Here’s what you can do:
1. When a man is commenting (good or bad) about a woman’s body tell him that you don’t sexualize women and walk away from him.
2. When you see a man calling a woman names, shaming her, yelling at her or disrespecting her publically. Call him on it in the moment and ask her if she needs help.
3. Every time you’re with a man and he’s slut-shaming a woman or showing you graphic sexual images of women or watching porn (yep, most porn is violence) tell him he sucks for disrespecting women and leave.
Every time you see or hear something that hurts us…
Freak out. Be critical. Get fierce.
It’s not even about wanting the same wage as you or having to pay tax on tampons, we just don’t want to be scared of our bodies being attacked anymore.
4. Talk loudly about your disgust with violence against woman. Have opinions. Be radical.
And we’re not speaking from a damsel in distress place. We’re asking as your powerful friends and wives and mothers- we’re begging actually, for your help.
Because we just can’t believe that this shit happens.
We want to walk the dog at night. We don’t want to be scared about being killed in our homes and we’re tired of feminism being a dirty word.
And we’re frustrated that we can’t seem to fix this by ourselves; so we’re asking for your protection, because it seems we are dying without it.
And we’ll do the same for you. We’ll watch your back. We’ll care for you. We’ll help you shine bright.
It’s over. This shit is over. Help make it be over. You can. Please.
We love you,
All The Women.