I thought it was going to get easier.
I thought that if I put in years of hard work, I’d rise in status and stability.
I thought if I was doing what I knew was my gift to the world, I’d be rewarded with more, more, more.
That’s what’s supposed to happen right?
Who told you that?
I can’t remember.
Before I went to work today I had a little cry.
I thought it was going to be different.
I thought I’d rise faster?
I thought I’d have more money?
I thought I’d be appreciated for giving my gift to the world?
Are you? Are you doing that?
But isn’t it supposed to go like this…you work, you try, you fail, you succeed and then eventually something miraculous happens; like that graph at the financial advisor’s office. It pays off?
Where did you see that?
I don’t know.
I don’t care how you feel or what you expected. This isn’t about you. This is about why you were born and what you were put here to do that only you can do. Do you know that? Only you can do what you are supposed to do and it’s your work. It’s expected of you. God gave you this so you can give it back.
What a waste. A disappointment if you didn’t take the time to find what that is out, follow that scent. And if there is a path, if you are on a path or see a path, then it’s not yours. Your path hasn’t been built yet. You gotta machete your way through the jungle, use the vines to climb up the rock face, the ocean is below you, she will catch you if you fall, then you just get up and start the trek again, a little bit easier this time, but your path is only yours. No one else’s and it’s up to you to slice through the foliage to get there, on your own, by yourself, that’s your whole point in being here. Finding out what your work is and doing it. For God. Goddess. Us. Your child. Your partner. Your mom.
Now it’s your job to get out there and crack it open.
But it’s not what I expected.
I thought I’d be matched and lauded and it would be so much easier. Not standing back here, alone, tired, getting old, taking another beating.
Who told you to expect this?
Go. Now. They are waiting.
Do the work you are here to do.
Do you know how lucky you are, to get to do what makes you whole?
Open your cracked up heart.
So I do.
I step out, and I give it my all and it doesn’t matter how many times I do it- it’s always the same.
I’m utterly gutted.
To my knees in gratitude.
And entirely free.
It’s almost too much, the pleasure it brings me to offer it up to the world.
Do your work. The work you were gifted to do. That only you can do. The rest is not yours to worry about.
God said that. Or Goddess. But she told me to tell you….so don’t forget ok?