Learning How To Be A Bad Mom (is of course good)

My oldest son just turned 4 and you know how every parent is like “cherish every minute, it goes by so fast.” Uh. No. It. Doesn’t. These years have reminded me of when I used to work at a shitty deli and I’d look up at the clock, sure that my shift was almost over and only 10 min had …

Toddlers Are The Worst Hell In The World.

It is not a wish I would suggest on the greatest demon himself. It starts in the morning with “I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY. I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND …

Radical Inconvenience.

Remember when Oprah coined the term “Radical Self-Care” in the early ‘90’s? She never explained what “Radical Self Care” actually really meant though, in action. A bubble bath. A holiday? A mani/pedi? Telling yourself you are getting 1 massage a month Telling yourself you are getting 1 massage a month no. matter. what.  And yoga 3 x, no 2x a …

A letter to the little you.

Simmer down.
Shut up.
Don’t take up so much space.
You are a bit too big for your britches.
She thinks a little too highly of herself.
You should learn a thing or too about humility.
Be quiet.
Settle down.
Stop talking so much.
Why must you be the centre of attention?
Do less. Be less.
Go smaller…
You have to be careful of those voices friend.

Crying is Radical

I feel a lot all the time but mostly I feel vulnerable and soft and these are not comfortable feelings for me to share publically. I can feel anger, righteous indignation, power, fear: but feeling vulnerable and crying (in front of people)…that’s my edge. And I’m all about walking the tightrope so the series about feelings begins here, on the …

I was a stay-at-home-mom for 2 weeks and this is what happened.

I have a 3.5 and a 1.5 year old. Since they were 3 months old I have spent no more than four days in a row with them. I’m neither ashamed of this or bragging. It’s my choice. I love my job. And I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home parent. But my husband’s been working a lot more lately, so …

My staycation (told in gifs and pics) is gonna make you so jelly.

I hit the wall. This may come as a surprise to some, as I have 2 kids and 3 jobs, that it took so long… But a week ago I hit it. . I shut my bedroom door and I sat on the corner my bed. while my boys were distracting me…trying to decide what to do.   And I heard …

The Nightmare Of Quitting Pot.

I smoke pot. Well I did. I quit recently. I didn’t smoke a lot but I did it every night. Like one little hoot a night before bed with my hubby. I don’t drink (except a shot of tequila once a year at a party, and then I rip up the dance floor like a fucking monster queen) but on …

Camping with Toddlers.

Camping with toddlers is the worst hell imaginable. #1. Death is everywhere. Did you know that children don’t intrinsically know not to fall face first into the fire pit? Rocks, sticks, stinging nettle, poisonous berries, rattlesnakes and fire ants. Most of my day is spent yelling No. Not the… No. Not the. .No! Not the! Fuck. Not that! *A peaceful moment #2. Childhood …

The Life Changing Magic Of Tidying Up- For Moms.

I haven’t read the book The Life Changing Magic Of Tidying Up – because I have kids and don’t have time to read but I’ve had friends without kids tell me about it in great detail so I think I’ve got the gist. Sift through through every scrap of paper in your house and if you hold it and look at it …