Eff You Self-Care Day

I deserve a self-care day. I do. Damn it. I work hard. My eyes are puffy. My son has stolen all my make-up brushes and used them to dig around the back of the toilet and I’m wearing my dead mother’s eye shadow. So when my brother bought me a gift certificate to “that place you go to buy makeup” …

Bra Shopping After Kids

A few days ago I went bra shopping for the first time in years. I’ve been breastfeeding for close to three years straight (due to having 2 kids in a year-and-a-half) and I’ve been living with breastfeeding tanks and stretched out maternity wear for too long. Living with two boys and one man has got me thinking about the power …

Learning How To Be A Bad Mom (is of course good)

My oldest son just turned 4 and you know how every parent is like “cherish every minute, it goes by so fast.” Uh. No. It. Doesn’t. These years have reminded me of when I used to work at a shitty deli and I’d look up at the clock, sure that my shift was almost over and only 10 min had …

Toddlers Are The Worst Hell In The World.

It is not a wish I would suggest on the greatest demon himself. It starts in the morning with “I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY. I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND …

Radical Inconvenience.

Remember when Oprah coined the term “Radical Self-Care” in the early ‘90’s? She never explained what “Radical Self Care” actually really meant though, in action. A bubble bath. A holiday? A mani/pedi? Telling yourself you are getting 1 massage a month Telling yourself you are getting 1 massage a month no. matter. what.  And yoga 3 x, no 2x a …

A letter to the little you.

Simmer down.
Shut up.
Don’t take up so much space.
You are a bit too big for your britches.
She thinks a little too highly of herself.
You should learn a thing or too about humility.
Be quiet.
Settle down.
Stop talking so much.
Why must you be the centre of attention?
Do less. Be less.
Go smaller…
You have to be careful of those voices friend.

Crying is Radical

I feel a lot all the time but mostly I feel vulnerable and soft and these are not comfortable feelings for me to share publically. I can feel anger, righteous indignation, power, fear: but feeling vulnerable and crying (in front of people)…that’s my edge. And I’m all about walking the tightrope so the series about feelings begins here, on the …

I was a stay-at-home-mom for 2 weeks and this is what happened.

I have a 3.5 and a 1.5 year old. Since they were 3 months old I have spent no more than four days in a row with them. I’m neither ashamed of this or bragging. It’s my choice. I love my job. And I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home parent. But my husband’s been working a lot more lately, so …

My staycation (told in gifs and pics) is gonna make you so jelly.

I hit the wall. This may come as a surprise to some, as I have 2 kids and 3 jobs, that it took so long… But a week ago I hit it. . I shut my bedroom door and I sat on the corner my bed. while my boys were distracting me…trying to decide what to do.   And I heard …

The Nightmare Of Quitting Pot.

I smoke pot. Well I did. I quit recently. I didn’t smoke a lot but I did it every night. Like one little hoot a night before bed with my hubby. I don’t drink (except a shot of tequila once a year at a party, and then I rip up the dance floor like a fucking monster queen) but on …