Bigger and Bolder and Golder

During a session with an intuitive a year ago she told me that she saw me as I saw myself…a hunched over old cackling clown, dragging a bunch of junk behind her, with a limp and smeared red lipstick; rebellious and shit-disturbing. I was funny and entertaining and even subversive sure, but it was an act – to soften my …

Learning How To Be A Bad Mom (is of course good)

My oldest son just turned 4 and you know how every parent is like “cherish every minute, it goes by so fast.” Uh. No. It. Doesn’t. These years have reminded me of when I used to work at a shitty deli and I’d look up at the clock, sure that my shift was almost over and only 10 min had …

Toddlers Are The Worst Hell In The World.

It is not a wish I would suggest on the greatest demon himself. It starts in the morning with “I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY. I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND …

Super Nerd

I grew up in a trailer in the woods. It was not a luxurious double-wide but we did have an addition built on to it so there was an extra room. We grew meat birds and to keep the baby chicks warm in the spring we would keep them in the house under a heat lamp. I preferred them living in my bedroom so I would fall asleep every night to chirping of birds and the smell of tiny poos.

How to Deal with Cruelty

I’ve been encountering a lot of cruel people lately. Not physically cruel, that’s a whole other conversation with a whole other set of rules, but emotionally cruel people, out to hurt for hurtings sake. And my impulse is to retaliate. To protect myself and my family and my community from this cruel behavior. And it’s my right to do so, …

Letters to Celebrities I've Never Sent- Amy Poehler

Dear Amy, I’m writing to you even though every inch of me is screaming noooooooooo. I’m so deeply ashamed that I’ve even started this letter…and as I continue this sentence the loathing grows. Everything I type is vile, clever garbage and I want to shoot myself (oh God more garbage) to stop my brain from continuing… But. I’m going to do …

Letters to Celebrities I’ve Never Sent- Amy Poehler

Dear Amy, I’m writing to you even though every inch of me is screaming noooooooooo. I’m so deeply ashamed that I’ve even started this letter…and as I continue this sentence the loathing grows. Everything I type is vile, clever garbage and I want to shoot myself (oh God more garbage) to stop my brain from continuing… But. I’m going to do …

Big Wins, Face Lifts and Freedom

I won! (and I didn’t even cheat) Best Radio Personality is: Emelia Symington Fedy Best Social Media Personality is: Emelia Symington Fedy @ tryingtobegood.com Thank you to all my loves for voting. I’m sending you all this cool shit because Trying to be Good is going through a big revamp. I’m not willing to be silenced for being a loud woman anymore. I will …

How to be rich when you feel poor.

1.When you wake up, after you do your “have to’s “kids to school, face washed, peed etc) before email, putting on pants or one quick facebook browse, get on the floor and move your body for 20 minutes. Set a timer. Yoga, stretching, rolling around, masturbate for all I care, just move your damn body before you do anything else …

If all men could hear this….

For us to rise, you must fall. It’s the natural order of our system, to keep in balance, on the teeter-totter of the world.  And you won’t want to. Because things will be different. And that’s really scary.  But we promise you we will not hurt you. We will not rape you. We will not punish you. We want to …