I’m not wishing you a Happy New Year!

…instead, I’ll wish you softness when you’re grieving and the breath to navigate through it.  I’ll also wish for you to see that you are surrounded by people who probably have many of the same terrors as you do. Even if social media seems to be sure they are doing much better. Because they traveled more this year. And they made …

Advice: How do I hate Christmas less?

Advice Column Question: How do I hate Christmas less?  Ya know? Answer: Yep. I know. But I don’t think you hate Christmas. I think you are grieving. I call it the un-nameable Christmas sadness and it shows itself in many forms. One of my highlighted bad memories of Christmas was looking out of our living room window on Christmas morning at the …

I’m a self-diagnosed self-help-aholic.

I’ve done so much self-help I’d call myself an expert in the field. I’ve spent over $70,000 on hypnotherapy, hydrotherapy, talk therapy, watsu, vaginal weightlifting and swimming with cosmic dolphins. A Didgeridoo played over my naked body to cleanse my ancestral patterning? Yep. Hiding in the bathroom to talk to an intuitive via Skype who accessed my angels so they could …

How’s living clean and sober? My inner child is a monster.

This is not going to be an ongoing theme in my writing, or maybe it is. But I’ve been off the weed for a few months now and I’m not saying it’s easy or has changed my life radically or brought me wizard powers but there’s some interesting shit happening. I also just lied. I smoked it once last weekend. …

Eff You Louis For Taking Away My Laughs.

I knew it was true when close to 4 years ago the freelance reporter tried to break the story and posted the contact via email admonishing him for being a perv and he wrote back…asking to meet in private then he ghosted the meeting. I knew it was true when the female comic talked about his attack on her popular …

Stop: Enough is Enough

That time of day you want to smash your fist through your computer due to its ineptitude. That kind of day where you have a lot of very important and essential things to do and none of it gets done (due to bullshit). When you are convinced the universe is deciding to ruin you (or at least challenge your very …

Drug induced hallucination or enlightenment? You tell me.

My husband was away for the weekend and I quickly dropped to the floor- sick. I’ve never had to parent sick before, it’s a gawdafull mess. I guess no one speaks about the horror of crawling around on your hands and knees trying to get french fries cooked so they can watch 3 more hours of TV while you moan, …

None of this makes us crazy

Some mornings I wake up feeling really grounded and by the afternoon I’m overwhelmed and wanna run for the hills in my flip flops and hide under the leaves. This doesn’t make me crazy. One night I’ll have a nightmare and wake up crying and this affects my productivity for the rest of the day. This doesn’t make me crazy. I sometimes use …

Toddlers Are The Worst Hell In The World.

It is not a wish I would suggest on the greatest demon himself. It starts in the morning with “I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY. I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERY DAY I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND …

How to Deal with Cruelty

I’ve been encountering a lot of cruel people lately. Not physically cruel, that’s a whole other conversation with a whole other set of rules, but emotionally cruel people, out to hurt for hurtings sake. And my impulse is to retaliate. To protect myself and my family and my community from this cruel behavior. And it’s my right to do so, …