Learning How To Be A Bad Mom (is of course good)

My oldest son just turned 4 and you know how every parent is like “cherish every minute, it goes by so fast.” Uh. No. It. Doesn’t. These years have reminded me of when I used to work at a shitty deli and I’d look up at the clock, sure that my shift was almost over and only 10 min had …

A letter to the little you.

Simmer down.
Shut up.
Don’t take up so much space.
You are a bit too big for your britches.
She thinks a little too highly of herself.
You should learn a thing or too about humility.
Be quiet.
Settle down.
Stop talking so much.
Why must you be the centre of attention?
Do less. Be less.
Go smaller…
You have to be careful of those voices friend.

Advice: How Do I Tell My Family I Hate Christmas?

This question a woman sent me brought me out of “Advice Column” retirement it’s so easy to answer, and deeply relatable. Under 4 min. Filmed while breastfeeding… …and when I google imaged “I hate Christmas” for an image to include in this post, a picture I TOOK OF MY SON was the first to show up. So…let’s just say we …

If She Says She Doesn’t Like Mother’s Day She’s Lying.

I’ve been reading a lot of articles this week by moms who say that Mother’s Day is a Hallmark holiday and they don’t support it. They say that they don’t need flowers to be reminded that they are loved and being a mom is no different than being anyone else so there is no need to be celebrated. I’m calling …

If She Says She Doesn’t Like Mother's Day She’s Lying.

I’ve been reading a lot of articles this week by moms who say that Mother’s Day is a Hallmark holiday and they don’t support it. They say that they don’t need flowers to be reminded that they are loved and being a mom is no different than being anyone else so there is no need to be celebrated. I’m calling …

ADVICE: How Do I Find Me Again.

QUESTION: I have 2 kids and 1 more on the way. I have an adorable husband. But what I feel I’m lacking is something outside of my family, and I really wish I had something in place before I had kids. I feel as if I’m losing(lost) myself and when I do get the rare break I don’t know how …

Advice: Should I have kids?

Dear Emelia, I’m 39 years old. I live a good life. I teach yoga. I have a good relationship with my sweet man. As I’m about to soon enter my 40th year, anxiety and big questions consume me. Do I have a child or not? I feel pressured by time and culture to have a kid. My mother has been …

Advice: Do Not Retract

Advice: She wanted to know if she should stay or leave her marriage. Answer: It’s 4 minutes. I think you’ll agree with me.

All You Need Is One (Soo-Soo)

My son loves his soother. We call it his soo-soo. He doesn’t call it his soo-soo because he can’t speak, but his parents are losers and like baby talking to him “Artie want’s his widdle soo-soo!?” and he blood-curdling screams for it. “Where’s the motherfucking soo-soo?” can be heard as we run around the house, searching under beds and ripping …