My kids almost 5 and I’m almost a mom. Why Now?

I have a 3-year-old and a 4.5-year-old and the transition into mama-dom has been less than pleasant. At times I’d call it horrendous. It’s one of those life transitions that if you “really knew” what would happen to you- I firmly believe that the world would not have overpopulation problems. But once the deed is done- and we are stuck …

I’m not wishing you a Happy New Year!

…instead, I’ll wish you softness when you’re grieving and the breath to navigate through it.  I’ll also wish for you to see that you are surrounded by people who probably have many of the same terrors as you do. Even if social media seems to be sure they are doing much better. Because they traveled more this year. And they made …

Advice: How do I hate Christmas less?

Advice Column Question: How do I hate Christmas less?  Ya know? Answer: Yep. I know. But I don’t think you hate Christmas. I think you are grieving. I call it the un-nameable Christmas sadness and it shows itself in many forms. One of my highlighted bad memories of Christmas was looking out of our living room window on Christmas morning at the …

If all men could hear this….

For us to rise, you must fall. It’s the natural order of our system, to keep in balance, on the teeter-totter of the world. And you won’t want to. Because things will be different. And that’s really scary. But we promise you we will not hurt you. We will not rape you. We will not punish you. We want to …

I’m a self-diagnosed self-help-aholic.

I’ve done so much self-help I’d call myself an expert in the field. I’ve spent over $70,000 on hypnotherapy, hydrotherapy, talk therapy, watsu, vaginal weightlifting and swimming with cosmic dolphins. A Didgeridoo played over my naked body to cleanse my ancestral patterning? Yep. Hiding in the bathroom to talk to an intuitive via Skype who accessed my angels so they could …

My Creative Process (our creative process)

Nothing.

I feel like shit about this.

There is nothing.

I do other things, less important things, things I could give or take.

I feel like every task is time-wasting. I notice there are a lot of assholes around. I feel fat. I stop wanting to have sex…

How’s living clean and sober? My inner child is a monster.

This is not going to be an ongoing theme in my writing, or maybe it is. But I’ve been off the weed for a few months now and I’m not saying it’s easy or has changed my life radically or brought me wizard powers but there’s some interesting shit happening. I also just lied. I smoked it once last weekend. …

Eff You Louis For Taking Away My Laughs.

I knew it was true when close to 4 years ago the freelance reporter tried to break the story and posted the contact via email admonishing him for being a perv and he wrote back…asking to meet in private then he ghosted the meeting. I knew it was true when the female comic talked about his attack on her popular …

How would you behave if you were the best at what you do?

Advice: Hi Emelia. I’m curious “how do you think you would behave if you knew you were the best in the world at what you do? Answer: I’ll answer this as best I can without sounding too annoying. I know when you long for something and someone else already has it figured out- their advice can come across as obnoxious …