I got some news today. News I was not expecting. I was so sure that I was going to get different news in fact I planned my wedding around it, I planned my honeymoon around it and I planned my maternity leave around it. I just knew that I was going to get good news but you know what…the motherfuckers said no.
They denied me.
They disagreed with what I wholeheartedly and soulfully believed in.
So I am sitting here thinking-now what?
- Go cry in bed and threaten to punch the shoe heads involved in the face hole.
- Feel depressed for the day.
- Hate the system I am a part of.
- Eat a lot of sugar.
- Get mad at my man for an issue completely unrelated to release pent-up steam.
I am left with two more options:
I can get into the flow and try to let go of my aggression and entitlement issues. Just because I believe it is an idea that needs to be born to change the world doesn’t mean other people have to agree with me.
Or the second choice- which is get right into my aggression and entitlement issues because when it comes to fighting for your art- this is one place you can be as feisty as possible. Fuck going with the flow. Fuck being cool with it. Fuck trying something else. Demand it. Dig your heels in. Make it happen anyway.
Because nothing can take a good idea down unless you let it go.
Do you know what a ruthless warrior you are to be living the lifestyle of following your heart?
Choosing all passion with no promises.
Do you even know how lucky you are?
You are a leader for stepping one foot in front of the other on this terrifying path and please excuse the grandiosity but there is one problem with being potentially ahead of your time… it’s hard to source funding for ideas that are reaching for the cosmos.
You are sometimes left on your ass alone.
So ya gottta:
- Fight tooth and nail.
- Believe in your fucking self.
- Wrack up your credit card and do the project your way, anyway.
- Be patient because high quality items sometimes take longer to make.
You are choosing to live your life as a sacrifice and that is going to hurt sometimes.
You are not getting paid for living your dreams but you still can live your dreams- no one can take funding away on that shit.
The NO actually makes me want it so much more. The NO brings out the all-powerful two-year old in me who screams and kicks Yes! Yes! Yes! Gimme the chocolate bunny the size of my torso, I will eat the whole thing right nowwwww (a real memory people) and I don’t give a shit if it makes me puke all over the store (also possibly a bad image choice for inspiration).
So after wallowing in self-pity for a bit I will get up and kick some creative ass. I will blow it out of the metaphorical water. I will make something so good the shoe heads will tell people that they were part of it happening. And they were. And I’m thankful.
Now it’s time to ‘reculer pour mieux sauter’…. ‘step back so that you can take a better jump at it’.
Nobody puts Baby in the corner.
And remember-you are on this path because you chose it- so keep walking. I’m right beside you.
Anyone got $100,000 to make some awesome art?
I love this. You said a lot that resonated with the dreams I’m living right now, and the ideas I’m putting into motion. Thanks for sharing!
Much of what I have done (programs, seminars, retreats, groups, my awesome life now) has been fueled by the “no’s” and “impossibles” and “who do you think you ares?” – Go for it sister! ROCK it like the bad ass soul that you are!!! I am one helluva tenacious spirit too. knock. seek. ask. and knock knock, bang fucking bang some more. persistence is key here on earth. that, a dash of wildness and a whole lot of patience (not my fave)
oh, and a good sense of humor – which you most definitely have
you got this darling. just keep being YOU!
Love it so much, Emilia. Never lose your passion.. You’re a great encouragement to me, thank you!
LOVE everything about this post.
And if I find $100,000, I’m TOTALLY giving your half.
Pinky swear sealed with a FUCK YOU to the people who deserve it.
I’ll make the video for your Indigogo….
Follow up on that last comment Em–time to make an Indie GoGo vid and access those million blog readers of tours
Addendum to bullet point 5 “followed up with angry sex and/or new tool for the garage”.
Hahahahaha!
rock it, kick it, want it, make it ~ so good to know there are a whole lotta others out there walking the walk and so fired up to get on with all the awesomeness of creation. Look out for my book Stella Sky, she’s coming, and I’ll be looking out for when you write about the $100,000 that landed.
thanks for putting it out there ~
What if 5,000 of us give you $20 each?
Now that’s what I’m talking about…
I’ve got $20 for you. And a crap load of baby clothes. Plus, I remember when you used to try out the “just being born” Patti Fedy material on me and I love being part of your creative process. Plus I like to laugh at 2 am…so hard that I fall of the end of the bed, wet myself a little and cannot feel my legs (true story). Actually, being part of that was priceless. But I do have $20 if others pitch in!
I don’t want your $20. I want your famous christmas cookies!